The End of Bananas

Episode 1: Jeffrey

Meet Jeffrey. He’s you’re average 9 year old boy. Only he REALLY likes bananas. I mean he dreams about them, has a banana themed room, eats one every half an hour; he even has a bananamobile. Okay, maybe he isn’t your average 9 year old boy. But, in this episode, episode 1 of a 10 episode story, we will show a typical day for Jeffrey.

7:00_AM – Wake up, eat a banana.

7:30 – Eat breakfast. It’s a banana.

8:00 – Go to school while eating a banana.

8:30 – You guessed it, he’s gonna eat a banana.

9:00 – Eat 2 bananas. (Jeffrey is going a little crazy)

9:30, 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30 – More bananas

12:00 – Eat lunch- it’s a sandwich, peanut butter and banana, with a banana.

12:30, 1:00, 1:30 – Even more bananas.

2:00 – Go home, eat a banana.

2:30 – Make a new friend. He has drawn a face on a…banana, and named him…banana. Well, he has a new best friend now. Oh wait, he just ate him. Oh well.

3:00, 3:30, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00 – What, he’s going to eat more bananas? I would have never guessed!

5:30 – Eat dinner. It’s steak. With banana.

6:00 – Mmmmm, dessert! Its chocolate dipped frozen banana!

Well, I think that’s enough for today. I mean, I already said banana 19 times. Oh wait, that makes it 20. Yeah, I think I’m about to go insane, I better sign up for the asylum now. Banana! Oh no. Banana! Banana! I can’t…BANANA! Stop!

AhhhhhhhhhhBananahhhhhhhhhhh! Help me! Help Bana

Beeeeeeeeeeep Please Stand By

Doo, doo, doo doo doo dooo dooo

Um…yeah, sorry, we’re going to have to end this episode. But stay tuned for episode 2, where Jeffrey meets Jimbo, a crazed elephant who also likes bananas!

The End of Bananas

Episode 2: Jeffrey Meets Jimbo

Hello, and welcome back to The End of Bananas! I am better because I saw a psychiatrist for my “banana” issue. But anyway, let’s get back to Episode 2 – where Jeffrey meets Jimbo! That will be reported by Bill.

Hi, I’m Bill! It’s a beautiful spring day here in San Diego, California (that’s where Jeffrey lives), and Jeffrey, with his mom and dad, is going to the circus! Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dadadadadada dadadadadadadada, yeah, I’ll stop. So, they arrived at the circus and are parking their car, while Jeffrey is eating…huhhh…a banana. But anyway, they parked their car and walked into the arena. They got first row seats because Jeffrey wanted to get a good view of the monkeys who do “banana tricks”. You’re probably wondering what those are. Well, I don’t know. Anyway, let’s skip to where Jeffrey meets Jimbo!

So, it’s that part of the circus where they bring out the elephants, because all circuses have elephants, or the crowd gets mad and sues. Over half the time it gets so crazy they have to call the navy for “backup”. Like this one guy at this one circus last year. Yeah, long story, but I can’t get off topic. Anyway, Jeffrey is still in the front row, eating another banana. Then, while he looks away, an elephant snatches it. When Jeffrey looked back, he noticed the elephant took it. Then, the elephant ate it! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” screamed Jeffrey. Then the whole crowd turned towards Jeffrey. “Um…I…I just thought I would see another…um…trick from the elephants,” Jeffrey said to make an excuse. But, the whole crowd agreed with his lie and threatened to sue the circus for not enough elephant tricks. So, while the crowd (and his parents, who both happened to be lawyers) were going insane and trying to kill the little midget who was performing, Jeffrey snuck away to the elephant.

When he got to the elephant, he kicked him. Then kicked him again. Then threw a stick at him. “Why do you hurt me young lad,” Jimbo said. He has a Jamaican accent. “You can talk?” “Ay, and you and I can understand each other!” “Wow,” said Jeffrey. “So…um…my name is Jeffrey. I love bananas.” “Me name be Jimbo. Me too like bananas. Me from Atlantis.” Keep in mind Jimbo has slight mental issues. “You do?” “Ay, I used to live there. Me mum, a cockatoo, and me dad, a tree stump, still live there. And I got me brother who’s a bear, and me sister is a fairy. You know that movie with Tinker Bell?” “Yeah” “That be her.” “Okaaay. Are you…like, do you have any issues at all?”Jeffrey asked. “Ay, I used to have an itch in me bum, but it has mostly gone away. And, I always wanted to be a professional ice skater, but I got stuck here.” “No, I mean do you have mental issues?” “Only when I forget to take my pill in the morning.” “Like today.” “Yeah, pretty much.” “So, you told me you like bananas. I really love them too.” “Ay, they be me favorite.” “So, do you want to be friends?” “Sure, all I got is me friend Bob and that’s it.” “Who’s Bob?” “See that broom? That be him.” “Ah, I see. Well, I’ll see you around.” “Ay, bye Jeffrey.” Jeffrey was excited about his new friend, and wanted to tell his parents. But, he thought that would just make him seem weirder. Plus, his parents were still rioting. But anyway, that is the day Jeffrey meets Jimbo.

Thank you Bill for that…well, I don’t really have a word for it, but thanks anyway. And for all you listeners, stay tuned for episode 3, where the rise of the Vegetable King, well, rises! And Jeffrey and Jimbo start to realize that it is up to them to save the world. I thank you for listening, and this is Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop, signing off. Banana! Uh oh, not again…

The End of Bananas

Episode 3: The Rise of the Vegetable King

We’re here with another episode of the new series “The End of Bananas”. In episode 3, the Vegetable King’s empire starts to rise and he starts banishing fruits everywhere. With the world falling apart from lack of fruits, Jeffrey understands he is the only one who can save it. Will Jeffrey and Jimbo set out to defeat the Vegetable King? Will the end of the world come before they can save it? Will my “banana” issue finally go away permanently? Find out all of this and more in The End of Bananas – Episode 3: The Rise of the Vegetable King!

Jeffrey is watching TV. Hello, this is Sandra Dorkenporken reporting live at the town’s largest grocery store. Here I am in the produce section and you can see something missing. That’s right. No fruits. Nothing. Apples, pears, bananas, oranges, all gone! What will we do without potassium and vitamin C from our precious fruits?! Don’t make us eat those disgusting…gulp…VITAMINS! Ahhhhhhh! This is…Sandra Dorkenporken…signing off…

“Oh no!” Jeffrey exclaimed, “What is going on?! No…no fruits! It’s…it’s…I need a banana. But when Jeffrey went into the kitchen there were NO MORE BANANAS. Jeffrey ran up to his room as fast as lightning, opened up his closet, and went to the door labeled EMERGENCY BANANAS. He got his fingerprint scanned, put in a code, unlocked five locks, got his tongue scanned, put in another code, unlocked 3 metal doors, typed in one last code, unlocked one last door, and took out and ate a banana. “Wow, that was a close one. Uh oh, I better tell Jimbo.”

Jeffrey ran down to his bananamobile, started the engine, and zoomed off to the circus. Now, you might be thinking how a 9 year old can drive on the streets. Well, he can’t, since it’s…well…illegal. So he drives on the sidewalk, and it is a small car, so it fits. Anyway, once he got to the circus, he ran towards the elephants. “Jimbo! Jimbo!” “Ay, hello Jeffrey, what be wrong?” It’s bananas. They have…disappeared. Our house actually ran out, and the grocery store didn’t get a shipment of any fruits at all!” “You know, me heard something about that on…uh…let me think.”

ONE ELEPHANT PONDER LATER…

“Wait, wait, wait. Cut! Cut! Stop! Elephants don’t have to ponder they have ‘photographic memory.’” “No, not Jimbo since he’s like…like…

PLEASE STAND BY

The producers and writers are getting into a fight about whether they should give Jimbo photographic memory or not. So, while you are waiting, please enjoy this skit.

Hey Dan! What Bill? You want a BANANA? You mean a delicious fruit filled with potassium? Sure! Yummy Yummy Bananas! So next time you’re at the grocery store, buy some bananas, because they are delicious and filled with potassium.

Paid for by the people for Jeffrey the Banana Boy.

“I’m Jeffrey the Banana Boy, and I approve of this message.”

And we’re back! They agreed Jimbo won’t have photographic memory due to his mental issues. We are sorry for that interruption, and we’re going back in 5,4,3,2,…

“Ah, I remember! It be the news! This man said there was this ‘Vegetable King’ who lived by him. Yeah, it sounded like it be scary. There were no pictures or footage, but from what they said, he seems horrible.” “Oh no,” Jeffrey said,
“I wonder where he lives!” “A far away place it be. They said it be surrounded by big tall grass.” “It sounds like it’s in Africa or something. And his house is probably an old castle, and he is probably a big, tall man who is REALLY scary.” “Probably young lad. They said no one be courageous enough to stand up to him. And all around the world (voice deepens); people are going crazy from lack of bananas. And it is up to someone with the power of bananas to overthrow the Vegetable King.” “Whoa Jimbo, how’d you’re voice get like that?” “Ah, I don’t know. It’s happened before though. Oh yeah, it happened when I forgot to take my pill.” “Oh. Well Jimbo, I think maybe since I have ‘the power of bananas’, I should set off to save the world. But, I would need help. Are you up for it Jimbo?” “You better believe, me am!” “Well it’s settled. We will set off to save the world. And bananas.

And there you have it! Jeffrey and Jimbo are setting off to save the world and stop the Vegetable King. Stay tuned for episode 4, when they set off into the unknown.

The End of Bananas

Episode 4: The Journey Begins

There have been 3 episodes so far. And now we move on to Episode 4, where the real journey begins. In this episode, Jeffrey and Jimbo set off into the unknown, and prepare for a journey that could take days, weeks, or even months. The End of Bananas – Episode 4: The Journey Begins.

“Extra clothes.” “Check.” “Water” “Check” “Bananas” “Check” “More bananas.” “Check.” “Emergency Bananas Group A.” “Check.” Emergency Bananas Group B.” “Check.”

MANY EMERGENCY BANANA GROUPS LATER…

“Emergency Bananas Group Z.” “Check.” “And…the rest of the stuff.” “Check, check, check, and…check. Okay, I think we be ready,” said Jimbo. “Yep,” stated Jeffrey. Then, a van pulled and a man came rushing out.

(In Italian accent) “A Luigi’s Pizza Delivery, I got your extra larga pizza.” “Dude,” said Jeffrey. That’s just…just too random….get…get out of here, don’t do that again, man. Is this what you always do? Burst into someone’s TV show, and ruin all the suspense that was building? Huh?” “I...ya…I justa…” “That’s right. You better feel stupid. Just…leave...yeah, go, and take your ‘extra larga pizza’ with you.” “Uhhh, what was that?” “I do not know Jimbo. But let’s get back to the bananamobile.”

“Once they got back to the bananamobile, Jimbo’s eyes widened, and it wasn’t because of his ‘issues’, like the dumb producer thought. “Hey, I heard that!” Well, the truth hurts. “Why I oughta…”

(In English accent) Hello, is this thing on? Hi, my name is Percy. You may remember me as the narrator for the reality show “Drop the Carrot”, or from the show “Lucy the Magical Toilet” I hated that show, I mean, it was about a toilet. So now I’m the backup narrator for this show because the real narrator is fighting with the producer. Again. Anyway, I’ll be right back; I have to get some tea and crumpets.

GENERIC ELEVATOR MUSIC

Okay, I’m back. Anyway, Jimbo’s eyes widened because he never saw the bananamobile before and thought it was cool. “Wow, Jeffrey! The bananamobile be so cool! Does it run on bananas?” “No, but it has a killer audio system.”

Jeffrey and Jimbo start packing away everything in to the bananamobile, and once they finished, they started off.

“ Hey Jimbo, did you ever find out where the evil lair is?” “Oh yeah, me left that part out. They said he be from…” “Wait Jimbo, don’t tell me. I looked it up, and I found this old castle in Ireland that they said belonged to the Vegetable King, so I thought out a few plans to get across the Atlantic. So the first one is…” “Jeffrey, it not be in Ireland. Or in a castle.” “Oh, then it must be in Africa…by the savanna? And maybe it’s an…evil mansion?” “No, Jeffrey, it actually be in Memphis, Tennessee, in an abandoned apartment.” “Oh. Well, I never thought about that. Well, a slight change in the plan now. Did you bring a map?” “Ay, let me get it out of me pants pocket.” “But you aren’t wearing any…oh never mind.” “Ah, here it be.” “Okay, we’re going to have to go through…uh oh. The Arizona Desert. Then…uh oh, the Great Plains. Well, ANOTHER slight change in plans now…”

MANY “SLIGHT” CHANGES IN PLANS LATER…

Just so you know, they have been going through a very large number that I can’t pronounce of plans, traveling for many hours on many different sidewalks, and have reached the Arizona Desert.

“Okay, I’ve finally got it! And here we are, the Arizona Desert!”

So far, Jeffrey’s plan has been going great, until dot dot dot

“Uh oh,” said Jeffrey, “Where’s the sidewalk?”

What will Jeffrey do without a sidewalk to drive on? Are they going to turn around and quit? If they keep going, will they make it? Will I have to narrate Episode 5? And where is the crapper, I drank too much tea! Stay tuned for Episode 5 to find out. Except, about that last part.

The End of Bananas

Episode 5: Through the Desert

And work it! And work it! “Come on sissies, you can do better than that! Come on, work those buns! Down on the floor, give me 100 pushups now… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…

90 PUSHUPS LATER

“Now get your *BEEP* on that treadmill, that’s right!” “Alright coach, huh, oh my. Whoops. Um, I have to go coach, seeya next Monday. “SHUT UP!” “Yeah, you have a good day too. Sorry about that, I thought I was supposed to do this episode in an hour. So, I’ll be right back and while I’m gone… here’s my deranged talking cat who think he’s a magician, Larry!

“So how ya doin, folks. For my next trick I will kill this man with an egg. DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! Thank you very much, muahahahahahaha!”

Okay, I’m back…huh, Larry! Why did you kill this man? No supper for you tonight! Bad kitty! Once again, I’m sorry for that delay. But let’s get back to The End of Bananas – Episode 5: Through the Desert, where Jeffrey and Jimbo go… through the desert!

“Ah, Jeffrey, how long have we been going through the desert?” “I…I don’t know, but we have to keep going.” “Just…just look at yer watch.” “Oh yeah. Um…um, it’s been…half an hour.” “Oh, me thought it’s been days.” “Yeah, me too. But we still have to keep going, because the more time we take getting to Memphis, the more time the Vegetable King has to do his ‘evil things’” “Ay, you be right Jeffrey. Just think of the horrible things he be doing right now…”

IN THE VEGETABLE KING’S EVIL LAIR…

“Mmmm, this is a good doughnut. Maybe I’ll watch a little TV now. *Click* Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Death Alert is here to *Click* So I says to the guy, I says to him, you betta get you’re fat *Click* So you get 2 for the price of 1, and if you call within 15 minutes, we’ll throw in an extra *Click* No Harry, don’t jump! It’s my time to go, Linda. *Click* Billy Mays here with the all new *Click* Jeez, there’s nothing on TV! Oh well, maybe I’ll play some solitaire on the computer now…

BACK IN THE DESERT…

“Oh yeah, Jimbo, he’s probably up to nothing but evil.” “Yeah he probably be…be spitting on puppies or something!” “You’re right; we better pick up the pace!”

3 Days Later

“Hey Jimbo. Hey, Jimbo, look. The desert has ended. The trip has ended, we made it. Jimbo?” “Ay, Jeffrey, me be just eatin’ some bananas.” “Oh, I thought you were lost. And would you look at that, we made it to some city!” “Uh oh, why those girls be headin’ towards us?” “They must be the paparazzi.” “What be paparazzi?” “Oh, they’re like Nazis, which explains the ‘azzi’ at the end, only they attack famous people for news and stuff, plus they don’t have a Hitler.” “Oh, I see.”

“Oh my totally gosh! It’s Jeffrey and Jimbo! Can we like, get some pictures, you guys are like…like stars!” “Sure, me be Jimbo, and between us, I’m not taken. Huh, girls, you want to party, party?” “Jimbo there is no time for that! And sure, you guys can take some pictures.”

ONE PHOTOSHOOT LATER…

“Thank you, thank you! The other girls will be like… totally physced!” “And here be me number.” “This is a backwards ‘C’.” “Yeah, that’s how I roll *wink, wink*” “Yeah, well…thank you. I guess.”

“Jimbo, did you forget to take your medicine. Again.” “Forget to take it, me forget to pack it!” “So you don’t have any medication with you?” “Nope.” “Alright, we need to stop by a pharmacy before we continue our trip.”

No, I said next to the couch. No, don’t wake the kangaroo, just…just go around. Oh wait, I have to go. Oh, the episode is over? Well, stay tuned, because Episode 6 brings another journey – this time through the Great Plains. I’m Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop, “And I’m Larry” Larry, I thought I put you in your cage, huh, no; you put that egg down, no, no! Anyway, stay tuned for…ackkk…Episode 6 … bye … ackkkkkk!

Hey, all you “The End of Bananas” fans looking for more? Well, visit theendofbananas.webs.com to read the episodes, play banana games, watch banana videos, and do more stuff that relates to…BANANAS! Once again, visit theendofbananas.webs.com for more banana fun. We will now get back to the regular program.

Larry, I told you, no one cares about you! And the producers say you can’t narrate the story. Oh god, not again. Larry, how many times do I have to tell you, it is rude to kill people with eggs. And illegal. I’m sorry folks, Larry is out of control. Again. So, let’s just get back to The End of Bananas - Episode 6: Through the Grasslands. Ow! Larry!

“So let’s see, we made it through California, Arizona, and New Mexico, so now we’re out of the desert. But, we still have to go through Oklahoma and Arkansas, and then we’ll arrive in Memphis, Tennessee.” “Me don’t want to walk that far, me Jeffrey lad.” “Well sorry Jimbo, but…you’re too big to fit in the bananamobile.” “Oh, so now you be callin’ me fat.” “No, no, it’s just that…well…elephants weigh like a ton or something.” “Oh, so now you be callin’ me whole family fat!” “Whatever Jimbo. But we can’t just sit here, we have to go. Don’t forget that the Vegetable King might still be doing evil things…”
MEANWHILE IN THE VEGETABLE KING’S EVIL LAIR…

“Alright, let’s see what’s on my to do list:

· Buy eco-friendly pillow

· Take over the world!

· And get a Hooker

“A… what, sir?” asked one of his servants. “It’s a kind of furniture! Why does everyone always ask?! Just look it up! Oh wait, you probably shouldn’t. Heheheh. Inside joke.”

BACK IN SOME RANDOM PLACE IN OKLAHOMA…

“You be right Jeffrey! He probably has a to do list that says two random things like get a pillow and piece of furniture, but then says take over the world or something!” “You’re right Jimbo, we better hurry!”

We will be right back after these short messages.

Hey, all you “The End of Bananas” fans looking for more?

“Wait, we already played this!”

“Oh yeah. Well, back to the show.”

“Doo, doo, doo, do, do, do, lalalalala” “Jimbo!” “Sorry. (whisper) doo, doo, doo lalalalalalalaaa” “Jimbo, stop!” “Sorry… doo” “Jimbo!” “Sorry, like me said, me forgot me medication.” “Yeah, but we went to that questionable Grecian pharmacy and got more.” “No, me think that be the wrong medication.” “Let me see the bottle. Okay, it says…laxatives. Great.”

So they continued on with their journey, yet they had to make a lot more stops so Jimbo could…go. It was REALLY disgusting. I mean, have you ever seen elephant poop? It’s like a big mound of…elephant poop. Disgusting. Yet they finally made it to Memphis after many stops and 4 days of traveling.

“Hey Jimbo. We made it!” “You mean…to Memphis?!” “Yes!” “OMG, that’s totally awesome!” “Uh oh, Jimbo, that sounds like more paparazzi.” “No, that was me.” “Oh. Heh, you know Jimbo, after being stuck with you for weeks, you’re ‘mental issues’ have gotten pretty funny.” “Uh, me will take that as a compliment,” said Jimbo. “But I can’t believe we’re in Memphis, home of Elvis.” “You’re an Elvis fan?” “Oh yeah, me and me family listened to all the songs back in Atlantis. Yeah, me love those songs, like ‘ABC’ or ‘Thriller’. “No Jimbo, thats Michael Jackson.” “No!
You’ll never take me alive coppers! Haha!” “Oh Jimbo.”

Hey everybody *sniff sniff*. Is the episode over? Please excuse my crying, I was just watching Mama Mia. It’s just so emotional; even Larry came in when he heard the singing, and he didn’t even have an egg with him! *sniff, sniff* Ahh. Well, anyway, thanks for tuning in with us today! I’m Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop “And I’m Larry” Larry, I’m glad we’re friends now! “Don’t tell Snap Daddy, I have an egg behind my back!” Huh! Larry, I heard you! So we’re not friends! Well, at least I have the producer. Oh wait, he hates me too. Huhhh, I’m depressed. But I still have to narrate next episode. So stay tuned. Huhhh.

As explained in the title, Jimbo meets his doom! (duh, duh, duuuuuh!) But no, he doesn’t die. “Darn!” Larry, did you just say darn? You shouldn’t be so obsessed with death and killing people. We have young viewers! “Well, at least I’m not showing these pictures! Heh, heh.” What do you mean… huh, these are so…so…I think I’m going to be sick! I mean jeeze! You know what, let’s just skip the intro and move on to The End of Bananas – Episode 7: Jimbo’s Doom (duh, duh, duuuh!) But really Larry, why did I choose you out of all the kittens. Really!

Well, now let’s leave my messed up personal life and go to Jeffrey in Memphis! It’s a beautiful day and Jeffrey and Jimbo are walking to the Vegetable King’s evil apartment!

“Wasn’t it nice of that hobo to give us the Vegetable King’s address, Jimbo?” said Jeffrey. “Me be just glad that we left quickly! That guy stank!” “Yes. Yes he did. But let’s forget about that hobo who smelled like fast food and rotten eggs, and hurry to the Vegetable King’s evil lair! Who knows what evil things he may be doing right this second…

IN THE VEGETABLE KING’S EVIL LAIR…

“Toasty bunnies, fresh off the grill! Lots of donkeys coming to me! Let’s all say it, BOINKEY, BOINKEY, BOINKEY! Hooray! I just love the BOINKEY theme song! But now it’s time for some TV…”

(Click) "Hey, hey, you, you, I don’t like your face! No, no, no, no, I think you need a new one!" "Well that was mean!" "Well, it’s time for you to get a new face! Literally! At Bondon’s plastic surgery!" (Click) The Alien Club. Proving that aliens do exist. So take that Tim! We’re on national television in a fictitious comedy story! (Click)

Hmmm, I wonder who Tim is. Oh well.”

BACK IN THE STREETS OF MEMPHIS…

“Hey Jimbo! That is probably the Vegetable King’s evil lair!” “What makes ye think that, Jeffrey lad?” “Well, it says ‘Vegetable King’s Evil Lair’ on it.” “Oh yeah.” “Well, let’s go in.” “That’s it. We just walk in. No secret spy stuff or anything? No traps disguised as cheese?” “Jimbo, that’s for mouse traps.” “Oh yeah.”

When they go inside, a midget named Steve pops out of nowhere and grabs Jeffrey and Jimbo. “Come with me, ya thugs!” They get dragged into a dark room. Then Steve shines a bright light on their faces, like in the movies. “Where were you on the day of purple?! Wrong!” While Jeffrey and Jimbo exchange confused faces, the Vegetable King walks in. And this is the first time Jeffrey and Jimbo see him, so do that “ooooooh” thing with me, alright, now “oooooooh”. Nice.

“Steve, I told you to stop questioning everyone who comes to the door, you’re only supposed to question suspicious ones! A boy and elephant aren’t suspicious, but it is a little weird.” “Sir, picture this. You are on your computer watching fat people dance, then a kid and demented looking elephant with a lazy eye bursts in the door, while talking about mouse traps.” “Well, whatever, I’ll deal with them. Now go back to your desk. And no more watching fat people dance.” “Ah, come on!”

The Vegetable King escorts Steve out and closes the door. “So, what are you doing here?” Jimbo starts to laugh. “Hey kid, how is that elephant laughing? And why? I’m not sure why, but he can sort of…talk.” “Uh…OK” “Hahaha! You be…you be a midget! You not a big man…heheh. A midget! Ahahahahaha!” “What did you just call me?!” “A…hehe…a midget!” “Huh! Blasphemy! Have this man…I mean elephant…arrested!” The police rush in out of nowhere (how do they do that, i mean really, what are they, stalkers?) and take away Jimbo. “But…what did me do? Me just call him a midget.” “Don’t say that again! I’ll see ya in court!” “Why did the police just take away Jimbo?” said Jeffrey, obviously confused. “Don’t you know, kid? Saying the “m” word is illegal in 17 different states and 32 different countries. Plus Antarctica.” “Well that was unexpected. But, I have to talk to you about your ban on fruits. Not cool, man. I mean, why would you commit such a serious crime?!”

“Well, it’s a long story. But I’ll say it anyway.”

“Oh great.”

“See, when I was a little boy, I actually loved fruits. Especially bananas, matter of fact. But that all changed one day. I was going on a trip to the zoo. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there was a slight breeze to the east. Or was it to the west? Well, never mind. Anyway, I was in the zoo, eating a banana. Then, I went up to the monkeys. One of the monkeys…spotted my banana. Then its face got all mean looking, and it marked its territory. The face didn’t mark it's territory, though, you know, it was the monkey that marked its territory. Well anyway, it went physco and jumped out of its habitat and attacked me for the banana. Then it ate it and threw the peel at me. Which I slipped on. And to make it worse, later that day I found out a tomato was a fruit! And I was all like ‘oh no you didn’t’ and the tomato was all like ‘oh yes I did’! It was horrible! So from that day on I never ate fruit again. Or went to the zoo ever again.”

“But why did you banish fruit?” “Didn’t I just explain why?” “No you explained why you don’t eat fruit. Or go to the zoo. But you didn’t explain why that made you banish fruit.” “Oh…huh. I don’t really have a comeback for that. Hmmm…ah, here’s one. Well I’m still banishing fruits and you can do nothing about it! Haha! How…how was that? Steve, how was that?” “To be truthful sir, it was horrible.” “Steve!” “It was great, sir!” “Thank you. But like I said, I’m banishing fruits and you can’t do anything about it!” “No. I traveled all the way from San Diego here with a demented elephant on laxatives, and I won’t just turn back. I will save the fruits! And Jimbo!”

Wow, that was a pretty dramatic ending. I can’t wait to find out what happens in Episode 8. Oh wait, I already know. Well anyway, stay tuned because you don’t know. “And I’m Larry!” Larry, I didn’t even say the “I’m Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop” part yet. “Yeah, I know. But I have special news for the viewers.” Larry, we don’t care about how many people you killed today. “No, it’s not about that. But it is a pretty impressive number. But anyway, I want to tell the viewers there will be a bonus episode 11! And it will be narrated by me!” It will! Oh, great. But stay tuned for episode 8! Ha! I just rhymed! I’m a poet and don’t even know it! I can rhyme anytime! Ha!

Hey guys! Isn’t today such a great day? Isn’t the world so wonderful?! What’s that? Why am I abnormally happy? I just got a Shamwoah! “You’re gonna be sayin’ wow every time you use it!” It is so cool! I just put it in a cup of water a few minutes ago, and then I pulled it out and it absorbed all the water! “Nobody cares Snap Daddy! Just get to Episode 8 already!” Well you’re just jealous of Shamwoah, Larry. But I do have to start Episode 8 and…leave the Shamwow *sniff, sniff*. So here is The End of Bananas – Episode 8: Save Jimbo!

*Click* Our top news story of today: The Savior of Fruits – Where the Heck Are You?! We all know about the worldwide ban on fruits and how we are patiently waiting for our Savior. But we are running out of patience, yeah, running out! Here is a clip sent in by one of our viewers in Beijing:

Hackataka! Hackatataca! Hoyo shomeh! SHEKOMEH!!!

And a clip from Sweden:

Dorken, shawken, maken, laken, baken, taken, naken, sawken, SHAWDAKAN!

And here in the U.S.:

No fruit! No fruit! No BEEP fruit! My eyes are hurting! MY EYES ARE HURTING! AND THERES NO FRUIT! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Yeah, so um…we are waiting for our savior. This is Sandra Dorkenporken, signing off. *Click*

“Hahaha, just as I planned! The world is in terror. And fruitless! And that little Jeffrey kid can’t stop me…”

“I hate that Vegetable King!” said Jeffrey, muttering to himself. “He took away fruits and Jimbo! Now I have to go save Jimbo and we can’t save bananas yet! Oh, here’s the jail.”

Jeffrey walks in and gets greeted by a midget police officer. “Jeeze!” said Jeffrey, “Another midge…I mean, little person. What is it, a little person convention? Heh, convention. That’s a funny word.”

“What do you want kid?” “My, my friend. He’s an elephant. I, I want to bust, bust him out of jail.” “Hmmm,” the policeman looks at his watch, “Okay, let me get him.” “Wait, that’s it? All I have to do is ask for him to get out of jail? That’s not a very good idea.” “No, it’s not because you asked, it’s because his 5 hour jail sentence is over.” “Only 5 hours? That’s a dumb law.” “Yeah, it’s even on dumblaws.com,” said the police officer.” “Okay…so where’s Jimbo?” “Me be right here, Jeffrey.” “Oh. Well, come on, Jimbo, let’s get out of here! Um…should I tip you or something?” “I don’t need your dirty money,” spat out the police officer. “No, it’s clean.” “I don’t mean it literally, it’s a metaphor!” “But do you still want a dollar or two?” “Just get out of here!”

Jeffrey and Jimbo leave the police department and start walking towards the Vegetable King’s Evil Lair. “So Jimbo, in the 5 hours you were gone, I thought out some plans. Well, many plans.” “Exactly how many?” “Let’s just say we can’t label them plan A, plan B, and so on, unless we think of names and symbols for 297 more letters.” “Oh, that be a lot of plans.” “Yeah.” So Jeffrey and Jimbo continue on their way, talking about the 323 (yes, I counted) plans Jeffrey made.

Alright, so that’s about it. Stay tuned for Episode 9, though, because in that episode, Jeffrey and Jimbo defeat the Vegetable King! “Great going Snap Daddy, you just spoiled the next episode!” I did not, Larry. I mean, it was expected, right? And is that my Shamwoah in your hand?! “Um…no.” Yes it is! Oh, you’re gonna get it now! Let me get to that…oh my god Larry. Is that…is that the…the golden egg in your hand? Oh no, please Larry! Don’t get any closer, you…you can have the Shamwoah, oh no!

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

(In English accent)Hello everyone, it’s me, Percy, again. Larry and Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop are getting into a HUGE fight. Of course, Snap Daddy is losing. Badly. Larry, on the other hand, is REALLY good. Actually, I personally think Larry with a golden egg makes Chuck Norris look like a 5 year old with a hotdog. But us Brits really wouldn’t know. Anyway, it’s time to wrap up this session. I’m Percy “(In baby voice) and I’m Percy’s hand puppet, Tiddly Winkles, wuaaaaaaaaoh.” Shut up Tiddly Winkles, nobody wants to hear you! “Why doesn’t anybody like me? Wuaaaaaaoh, wuaaaaaaoh (the noise continues as Percy talks) Tiddly Winkles, stop, stop! Huuuh, I need some tea. So thank you for watching episode 8, and stay tuned for episode 9. Tiddly Winkles!

The writer of this show is really getting lazy! I mean the name of the episode is “The End of Bananas”. But, whatever. Oh, and also, after last episode’s fight with Larry, I decided I have had enough. So, I went to the only solitary confinement center for pets and they locked him up there! And I got a new pet! His name is Al the gerbil. Here, let me take him out of his cage. “Hisssssssssss!” Well you don’t have to be so moody! See, Al was separated from his sister Sal on their vacation to Disney World. But other than his grumpiness about that, he’s great! And 1 million, no, 1 billion, no, 1 trillion times, no, 1 gazillion, no, 1 tazillion, no, 1 badagachalazilion, no, 1 supercalafradgalistic... well, he's better than Larry, lets just leave it at that. So now I’m not distracted from my job and the show isn’t just about murderous cats! So, let’s get back to The End of Bananas – Episode 9: The End of Bananas.

“Alright, Jimbo, do you have all the plans in your head?” “Heck no, I stopped listening after you said,’ so the first plan is…’” “Well, I kinda expected that, so just follow along with what I do.” “I’ll try…” They walk into the Vegetable King’s Evil Lair. This time they enter, the Vegetable King is waiting for them.

“Wow,” exclaimed the Vegetable King. “This is the second time you’ve come. That’s more times than the mailman has come.” “Hahahahahahahahaha!” “Alright, Steve, the joke is over!” “But, hehe, it was funny.” “You don’t get out much, do you?” “No.” “I knew it. I mean, you are always sitting there on the computer, doing who knows what.” “It’s the funny fat people.” “Fat people! Didn’t I tell you not to watch them anymore?!” “Well…” “No! No more! Just go back to your computer and don’t even think of going to that fat people site.” “But…” “Ah! I don’t want to hear it!” Steve leaves the room, mumbling to himself. “Mumbo, jumbo, no fat people, sounds like my mom talking, yadashavalava.” Okay! That’s enough mumbling! Back to the show…

“I’m sorry you guys, Steve and I always get into fights. So, why are you here? And where did that elephant go. That horrid, m – word saying elephant!” He didn’t go anywhere, he’s right… oh no! You’re right! Suprisingly.” “I heard that!” “Oh, whatever! But where did that psychotic elephant go? How am I supposed to bring down the Vegetable King without him?” “I heard that, too!” “Oh, whatever! Wasn’t it expected anyway?! Don’t you remember, like, 2 days ago? When I told you what I’m here for?” “Well, yeah, but still, you shouldn’t of just blurted it out.” “Oh WHATEVER!” “Would you stop saying that!” “Well sorry! But I have bigger problems. Like where in the bananas is Jimbo!” Suddenly Jimbo bursts into the room, waving a banana with his trunk.

“Huh! You! You, the elephant! Take that banana out of my house! I mean, take that banana out of my evil abandoned apartment.” “Me only have one word to say to that. Ooo-ooo-ah-ah.” “Well technically that’s four words, if they even count as words, but if you…OMG! It’s…it’s a monkey! Heh, heh, I rhymed. But anyway, get that thing away! Please! I’m…I’m begging you…oh no!”

For the next few minutes Jeffrey, Jimbo, and the monkey did HORRIBLE things to the Vegetable King. Oh, it just frightens me! Just kidding, that would be too violent. Instead, they put him in a straightjacket.

“Alright Vegetable King. First things first. What is your real name?! Jimbo and I have been wondering.” “That will never be revealed!” “Alright then. Oh Mr. Monkey…” Jeffrey said tauntingly. “Alright! I’ll reveal it. My real name is…gulp…Bob.” “Bob. Wow. So creative.” “Well sorry! But get me out of this straightjacket!” “No. only if you promise to stop banishing fruits and to restore fruits to the world.”

“Pssssh, yeah right. Never!” “Alright, then. Well here’s a…BANANA!” “Oh no! Please, don’t get any closer! No, no! What are you doing?! Please! No!” “That’s right. Eat the banana. Eat it!” “No, no! Omnomnom. Ah, it’s…omnom… it’s…omnomnom…it’s…pretty good.” “What?” said Jeffrey, confused. “It’s pretty good! You know, now I understand how much people have been missing out without bananas and all the other fruits. But wait, so have I! I have been missing out for years!” “Yeah, but it’s your fault.” “No it’s not! Okay, yes it is. But if I had to miss out, everyone else will too.” “What! That’s crap! Ooo, I said a bad word. It tingles! But anyway, if it gets serious enough for me to do this, I will.” “Do what?” “Call the police. I bet it’s a lifetime sentence for banishing fruit from the whole world!” “Yeah, I guess that’s true…” said the Vegetable King. “You know!” said Jeffrey “I don’t even know why we just didn’t call the police in the first place!” “Yeah, you tell him, Jeffrey lad!” “What a waste! We could have just sat at home and let the police take care of it! I mean really, why didn’t we just…

“Cut! Cut! Stop! Did I just hear what I think I heard?! Did I just hear that something that we didn’t want the viewers to think? When I get my hands on that person…” “Well the viewers should know!” “Who. Said! THAT?!” “Um…me sir,” ...said the writer in a small voice. “You?! One of the writers?! What made you write that?!” ...said the producer. “Um…” ...said the writer, trying to find a good excuse. “No! No more!” ...raged the producer. “Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop! Stop narrating this conversation, it’s not part of the show!” ...said the producer. “Snap Daddy…..good. Now back to the writer. Why would you make him say that?!” “Well I just…” “Be quiet! Now get back to the show...”

Wow, the producer is really mad today. He must have just got dumped. Heh, if it’s true, that would be the 17^th girl to dump him. And that list would be a whole lot bigger if I included all the boys that dumped him. But anyway, back to the show…

“Did you just here some faint screaming a minute ago?” said the Vegetable King. “Kind of,” said Jeffrey “But whatever. Back to the plot…oh yeah, I’ll call the police! Unless you just stop banishing fruits. And how do you do that anyway?!” “Do what?” “Banish fruits from the whole world?” “That is classified information.” “Aw come on! But never mind that. Jimbo, go get me a phone.” “Sure thing, Jeffrey lad.” “No, no! Please!” “No, Bob. Heh, heh. I called him Bob, that's funny, because, you know, his name is Bob, heh, heh. But anyway, we won’t cave in to your begging. No matter how much you plea, we won’t let you out.” “Alright then, I’ll make this easy. I have a gun.”

The Vegetable King then pulls out a gun and dares to shoot. Jeffrey then runs toward him to grab the gun from him but it’s too late. The Vegetable King shoots.

Alright, that’s it for this episode; find out what happens in Episode 10. Just kidding, that would be WAY to suspenseful. Alright, back to the show…

“NOOOOOOOOOO! The pain! Awwww!” The screams of terror were heard for miles. But no, it’s not what you’re probably thinking. Jeffrey’s fine, it’s the Vegetable King screaming. Why? He forgot to load the gun. Yeah, he was voted most forgetful in the seventh grade. Kind of like my first girlfriend. And she also looked like the Vegetable King. And she kind of had a deep voice for a girl… OH GOD! Ew! Ew! Ew! That is not cool, man. No it is not. And stuff. Blah. Blah. What were we just talking about? Ha! It worked! See, whenever I want to forget about something, I just distract myself like I just did. Now, back to Jeffrey and the Vegetable King. Wait, the Vegetable King! That was it! Oh, I remember now, GROSS! Ew! Ew! Ew! And stuff. Blah. Blah. Ha! It worked again! Now back to the show so I don’t think about that thing anymore.

So while the Vegetable King….oh wait, the Vegetable King! Oh god! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew…

PLEASE STAND BY…

(In English accent)Hello everyone, it’s me, Percy, again. Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop has to see a therapist for his ‘relationship issues’. So now, I’m narrating! Isn’t that great? “(In baby voice) Boooo! Uaaahooo!” Tiddly Winkles, that was not nice! Now apologize or you are going to the drawer. “Not the drawer! Uaaaaaaooh! OK, I’ll be quiet!” Yes, you better. Now back to the story…

So, while the Vegetable King is screaming about his gun flaw, Jeffrey and Jimbo sneak a call to the police. “Hello, police?” said Jeffrey “It’s an emergency; we’re here at the Vegetable King’s evil apartment at address withheld. You need to come quick; he’s the man who is banishing the fruit! And why didn’t you already come like, weeks ago?!” “Well, we didn’t know where he lives.” “Well didn’t you do what the old saying says to do? That’s how we got his address.” “What’s the old saying?” “When in doubt, ask a muddy hobo.” “Oh yeah, we forgot. But anyway, we’ll rush over as soon as we can.” “OK, hurry! Hurry, man!”

The police then arrive 5 minutes later and arrest the Vegetable King. As the Vegetable King is getting put in the police car, he says one final remark.

“Fine, I’m arrested, you win. Or do you?” “What is that supposed to mean?” asked Jeffrey. “Haven’t you noticed? Yesterday, the news said that all fruits have been completely wiped off the face of Earth. Unless you have any bananas with you, bananas are no more.” “Oh no! The last banana we had was the banana we gave to you. So that means…” “Yep. It’s The End of Bananas™.

Jeffrey and Jimbo just sat there with blank expressions. They’ve been defeated. Bananas are no more. Find out the thrilling conclusion next week on The End of Bananas: Episode 10. “Uaaaaoooh” Oh great, Tiddly Winkles, you just ruined all the suspense by saying that one thing! “Sorry, I just had to let it out. Uaaaaooohh!” That’s it; you’re going into the drawer. "Oh snap!"

The End of Bananas

Episode 10: Save the Bananas!

Hey, it’s me, Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop. I saw a therapist for my “relationship issues”, so now I feel completely better! Except I have been getting a few hallucinations lately, but I think they have passed. But anyway, I’m supposed to open this Episode by saying: previously on The End of Bananas:

Preview: One boy

Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many bananas

And a crazy elephant named Jimbo

SAVE THE WORLD (and bananas)

In the all new 10 episode show – The End of Bananas

Episode 1: …He dreams about bananas, has a banana themed room, eats one every half an hour; he even has a bananamobile. Okay, maybe he isn’t your average 9 year old boy.

Episode 2: “So, you told me you like bananas. I really love them too.” “Ay, they be me favorite.” “So, do you want to be friends?” “Sure, all I got is me friend Bob and that’s it.” “Who’s Bob?” “See that broom? That be him.”

Episode 3: Hello, this is Sandra Dorkenporken reporting live at the town’s largest grocery store…that’s right. No fruit…“Well Jimbo, I think maybe since I have ‘the power of bananas’, I should set off to save the world…Are you up for it Jimbo?” “You better believe, me am!”

Episode 4: In this episode, Jeffrey and Jimbo set off into the unknown, and prepare for a journey that could take days, weeks, or even months…“Uh oh,” said Jeffrey, “Where’s the sidewalk?”

Episode 5: “Oh yeah, Jimbo, he’s probably up to nothing but evil.” “Yeah he probably be…be spitting on puppies or something!” “You’re right; we better pick up the pace!”

Episode 6: I can’t believe we’re in Memphis, home of Elvis!” “You’re an Elvis fan?” “Oh yeah, me and me family listened to all the songs back in Atlantis. Yeah, me love those songs, like ‘ABC’ or ‘Thriller’. “No Jimbo, that’s Michael Jackson.”

Episode 7: “Why did the police just take away Jimbo?” said Jeffrey, obviously confused. “Don’t you know, kid? Saying the “m” word is illegal in 17 different states and 32 different countries. Plus Antarctica.” “Well that was unexpected…”

Episode 8: So Jeffrey and Jimbo continue on their way, talking about the 323 (yes, I counted) plans Jeffrey made.

Episode 9: “…Yesterday, the news said that all fruits have been completely wiped off the face of Earth. Unless you have any bananas with you, bananas are no more.” “Oh no! The last banana we had was the banana we gave to you. So that means…” “Yep. It’s The End of Bananas™.”

We have moved on from Jeffrey’s humble beginning in Episode 1 to the devastating truth that ended Episode 9. Now we move on to the much anticipated last and final episode of the series. Ladies, gentleman, and kangaroos (but not you Barney) “Aww man. But I love you” Exactly, Barney. EXACTLY! Anyway, I give you the thrilling conclusion to Episode 9, the seal to the envelope of The End of Bananas, the Episode we have all been waiting for, the cherry on top, the end to the series, the… “Alright, already! Just get to the Episode!” Huh, fine, if you don’t like suspense. I give you, “The End of Bananas”: Episode 10 – Save the Bananas!

We now go back to Jeffrey and Jimbo in front of the Vegetable King’s Evil Abandoned Apartment.

“I can’t believe it Jimbo,” said Jeffrey. “What?” asked Jimbo. “What? What?! WHAT?! What do you mean what?!” “I mean…” “No! Don’t answer that question! It was rhetorical.” “Rhetorical?” “Yes, Jimbo, rhetorical. It means you…” “Ah, ah, ah Jeffrey lad. Ye weren’t supposed to answer that question, it also be rhetorical. See, me be smart.” “No Jimbo, rhetorical questions are…oh never mind. But I can’t believe even though it seemed like we defeated the Vegetable King, he actually beat us! I am so mad!!!!!!!!!!” “Yeah, you must be mad, look at all those exclamation points!” “Jimbo, you’re not helping…” “Sorry, Jeffrey lad.” “Whatever, Jimbo. But I have an idea.” “Oh! Me too, Jeffrey lad! Me was thinking that when we get our pictures taken for newspapers and stuff, we should wear tight purple pants and zebra striped shirts with fluffy pink scarves. What do ye think?” “What I’m thinking would not be appropriate to say.” “Wow! You like the idea that much?! I’ll go call Gayson’s Clothing Shop! Where they’re motto is ‘Do you get the pun?’.” “Jimbo, forget the outfit, I have an idea to bring back bananas!” “Okay, Jeffrey lad, but don’t go crying to me when we make a fashion crisis…because we don’t look like ‘pimps’.” “Jimbo, I am just a 9 year old boy who is in need of a banana. Does it seem like I want to look like a pimp?!” Jeffrey then pauses and says, “…Don’t answer that question. But anyway, forget the outfit and follow me; I have a plan.”

They both walk up to a police officer and Jeffrey asks, “Sir, before you take away the Vegetable King, can we ‘question’ him?” “Why sure. We can tie him up to a chair and get a lamp for ya, too.” “Cool! Thanks! Well isn’t it nice of him to offer that?” “Me don’t know, Jeffrey lad, he seems kind of…crazy.” “Oh look whose talking.” “Yeah, me be talking. What about it?” “No, Jimbo, it’s…oh never mind. We have some questioning to do…”

After they get to the police station, they walk into the questioning room and see that the Vegetable King was already in there, tied to a chair. “Why am I tied to a chair?!” asked the Vegetable King loudly. “Well, we have some…questions,” said Jeffrey. “What is that supposed to mean?! Oh no, what are you going to do me?!” “Nothing. Like I said, we just have some questions.” “Oh. Well in that case, please forget I ever did that.” “Too late, there are hidden cameras all over the room!” “Well that’s just great.”

“So anyway. My first question is…where is your secret stash of fruit seeds?!” “Yeah, like I would tell you that my secret stash of fruit seeds is…” *twitch twitch* Jiggles! Jiggles! Don’t you put that loaf of bread on my tuba! “Um…does anyone know what’s going on with Snap Daddy?” “No, but keep filming…this is hilarious!” *twitch* Knock Knock… Who’s there? Your psychiatrist …Ah! Get away from me! But I brought cookies… Chocolate chip cookies? Yes…now let me in… Well…ok. Ha! I have no cookies! Why?! Why?! The hatred!! *twitch twitch* Whoa, that must have been another one of my hallucinations. Man… I need an aspirin. Sheesh. Well…let’s get on with the story. Where was I…oh right. The Vegetable King was saying, “Yeah, like I would tell you my secret stash of fruit seeds is located 4 feet away from the fridge in the kitchen, on the second to top drawer, with the door hidden by my novelty blender.

“Alright,” replied Jeffrey, remaining nonchalant. “Second question. Where is your secret stash of bananas?!” “Pshh, I’m DEFINITELY not telling you that my secret stash of bananas is hidden away in my closet, which is located 7 feet to the left of my bed, and that the door to the stash is hidden by my manly jewelry box. So ha! You can’t get any information out of me!” “Ok, I think that’s all I’ll be asking. Thank you.” “No…problem. Hmm, I have a bad feeling about this,” replied the Vegetable King. “Maybe I accidentally said something I shouldn’t have…hmm, nothing comes to mind. Oh well.”

“Are you be kidding me?!” said Jimbo. “You told me and Jeffrey EVERYTHING-“ “Shut up Jimbo!” yelled Jeffrey. “What did me do Jeffrey lad?” “Jimbo, you have really gotten stupid lately. I mean seriously, you have met new levels of idiocracy that were thought to be unreachable.” “Me will take that as a compliment, Jeffrey lad.” “Ok. Fine. That would just prove your stupidity even more!” “Hey you guys,” said the Vegetable King, “I’m still here.” “Oh right,” replied Jeffrey, “Lock him up boys!” The police come in and take him away. “So long you horrid, banana hating freako!” yelled Jimbo. “Hey, that was mean! When I get out of prison in 15 years, I am so getting you!” “Actually, you’re serving a life sentence,” replied a policeman. “Well that’s great.”

Once the Vegetable King has been taken away, the policeman came back to Jeffrey and Jimbo. “So what are you planning to do now? Get the SWAT Team? National Guard? Nuclear Missles? PETA?” asked the policeman. “Nope. We’re going to the Vegetable King’s Evil Abandoned Apartment.” “Ok.” They then go over to the Vegetable King’s Apartment (which is pretty much self explanatory).

“Alright Jimbo,” says Jeffrey. “Let’s find the kitchen and look for that stash of fruit seeds.” They walk through out the apartment, which was a real dump, until they find the kitchen. Once they get to the kitchen, they walk to the exact location given by the Vegetable King, and sure enough, there was a metal door. When they opened it, there they found a vast space full of seeds of all fruits known to man – apples, cantaloupe, star fruit, watermelon, blueberries, the list goes on. And there in a corner was a big pile of banana seeds.

“Oh! My babies! Daddy’s here, daddy’s here. Don’t you worry; I’ll take good care of you guys!” “Oh brother!” said Jimbo. “Well, Jimbo, what can I say. I’m obsessed… (Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” plays in the background)…no, not like that!” says Jeffrey. *twitch twitch* Jiggle Buckets! “Uh oh, there goes Snap Daddy again.” *twitch* Hand over the pretzel! Over my dead body… Quick! Head for the legs! No, not my legs! Mwahahaha! Stop! Stop! It tickles! *twitch* Oh man, another hallucination. Gosh, I thought they were over. Oh well, that was definitely my last one. Let’s get on with the story. Jimbo replied by saying, “Jeffrey and bananas sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” “Jimbo, don’t make me call the zoo and get you put back…” “Please, no! The circus workers abuse me with pointy poles inhumanely to make me do tricks! Don’t make me go back, Jeffrey lad!” “Well stop taunting me!” “Ok, fine.” “Alright, so anyway, it looks like…OMG wait, it’s Justin Bieber!” “Hey guys, this reminds me of a song!” said Justin. He then proceeds to sing. “Isn’t he dreamy?” asked Jimbo. “No, not really…he kind of sings like a girl.” “Ugh! Don’t ye dare say that again! Ye be just jealous.” “Whatever Jimbo.” Justin Bieber then finishes his song and says, “Anything for a banana loving elephant. Well, I gotta go guys.” Jimbo then faints. “Jimbo! That is not normal for a boy elephant!” “Sorry, Jeffrey lad, he be just…well, ye know.” “No, I don’t know. But forget it, we have to tell the police about what we just saw!” “Well why would the police care about Justin Bieber?” asked Jimbo. “No, we wouldn’t tell the police about him! Just forget about him! We would tell the police about the fruit safe.” “Hmm…me still think Justin Bieber be bigger than finding a safe full of seeds.” “Jimbo, don’t make me slap you!” “But Justin Bieber is so…”

“Cut! Cut! Stop! Listen people, I am the producer! And I don’t understand why you guys don’t tell me you are doing this stuff. Now whose idea was it to have Jimbo all over Justin Bieber?! And why didn’t you tell me? Huh? Who was it!?!” …Suddenly, everyone in the room points to Jim. “Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop, how many times have I told you not to narrate out of the story?! You make coffee break such a pain! If only you didn’t sign that contract, I would’ve fired you in a second. But never mind that. Where’s Jim?” “Um…right here sir.” “You really need to stop doing this stuff! You know what, never mind, I'm not going to continue to warn you! You're fired! Alright, now let’s get back to the show, and just wipe away Justin Bieber from Jimbo’s mind!”

“Whoa, Jeffrey lad, me feel like something be missing from me brain.” “That’s for sure,” replied Jeffrey, “Alright Jimbo, so let’s go tell the police about our findings of the fruit seeds. But let’s look for the banana stash first; you don’t know how desperate for a banana I am right now.” Once again, Jeffrey and Jimbo go to the exact location the Vegetable King said the bananas were in, and there they found another metal door. Then they opened it, and there was a gigantic mound of bananas. Jeffrey was so speechless; he just ran to them and started eating. “Oh yes! Oh yeah! Beautiful, delicious bananas! Oh yeah!” “Hey, save some for me Jeffrey lad!”

After they had pretty much all of the bananas, Jeffrey said, “Whew, that hit the spot. Alright, now let’s go tell the police about our findings.” They then go to the police station, and when they get there, Jeffrey approaches an officer and says, “Hey guys! We found a whole stash of fruit seeds and bananas back at the Vegetable King’s Evil Abandoned Apartment!” “OMG that’s awesome!” replied a policeman. “Yeah, let’s get a truck to load them up!” said another policeman. “Jeffrey and Jimbo, you guys have saved the world from a fruitless future. Congratulations!”

And there’s the story of Jeffrey and Jimbo, their love for bananas, and the ultimate journey they faced. Here’s what happened at their first award ceremony back in San Diego.

“Today we have two brave men…well actually a brave boy and a brave elephant. But nevertheless, they have conquered Bob Pickleson, a.k.a. the Vegetable King, from banishing fruits from the Earth. Jeffrey and Jimbo, come on up and receive these medals.” Jeffrey and Jimbo then emerge from the crowd and step up onto the stage to get awarded for their good deeds. “Now Jeffrey, tell us: how did you know the Vegetable King had stashes of fruit seeds and bananas hidden in his apartment?”

“Well first I would like to say thank you for this great award. Also, I have prepared a small speech. *clears throat* Today, a new revolution has been conceived. The fruits of this world have been brought back for Earth to enjoy…”

TWO HOURS LATER…

“…And surprisingly, even the hearty banana, which was developed so painstakingly, could not withstand the deadly 1970s Panama Disease. Why, you may ask? Because the Cavendish banana lacks seeds…”

TWO MORE HOURS LATER…

“…But my great grandfather knew his banana plantation was for a bigger purpose…”

I LOST COUNT…

“And when that first banana just happened to roll to me, I knew that the banana would be more than a fruit to me. That leads me to my next story…” “Hey kid, we don’t have all day, just tell us: how did you know the Vegetable King had stashes of fruit seeds and bananas in his apartment?” “Well Jim…” “Can you please call me Mr. Mayor Guy instead?” “Ok Jim. So anyway, while we were in the Vegetable King’s Evil Abandoned Apartment, I noticed a folded piece of paper on the ground. So I, very secretively, picked it up. I didn’t tell Jimbo, because he would have probably blurted it out right in front of the Vegetable King. Also, I had a plan all set up: question the Vegetable King about the stashes to find out where they are.” “But you still didn’t tell us how you knew he had them. And how did you know that the Vegetable King would have just told you where they were?” “Well you see Jim, the letter explains it all. And I think I have it in my pocket…” Jeffrey checks his pocket, and then pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Ah, here it is. So should I read it?” “Heck yeah!” said the mayor. “Ok Jim. It says:

‘HA! Jeffrey thinks he’s so smart, but he has no clue about the fruit seed stash and banana stash I have, hehe. And he never will find out! Mwahahahaha! *cough cough* Ugh…I really need to see that therapist. And I also have that issue where I answer questions without noticing…hmm, well Jeffrey can’t use it against me if he doesn’t know about it, hehe. Oh man, I am SO bad! Wait, until Steve hears about this evil plan of mine! Well I have to get back to ‘banishing fruits’ and all that…’

And now,” said Jeffrey, “hopefully you can see how I knew the Vegetable King had his stashes.” “Wow, Jeffrey!” said the mayor, “I think you’re smart thinking just earned you another award!” “Why thank you!” “You are very welcome. And now, here’s Jimbo, with a speech he has prepared.” “Thank ye, Jim. First, me would like to thank Gayson’s Clothing Shop, where their motto be ‘Do you get the pun?’ Without them, me wouldn’t have this ‘pimptastic’ outfit. Me would also like to thank me parents, and me sister for always encouraging me. You rock, Tinker Bell! And to all the ladies in the audience, Call me!” “Thank you Jimbo, for that…um… great speech…”

Later on, the two got to keep the rest of the Vegetable King’s stash of bananas. The fruit seeds were immediately planted all over the world, and after a few months, the first new fruits were sprouting. Jeffrey and Jimbo received many more awards, as well as a gold statue of a banana, which was given to them by the President of the United States. In school, Jeffrey was never taunted again for his banana addiction, and he and Jimbo got rich because his parents sued the Vegetable King. As for Jimbo, he quit the circus, found a girlfriend, and retired on a yacht, which he used to go search for Atlantis. And it ended Happily Ever After.

I’m Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop. “And I’m Larry!” Who was that? Was that Larry? Oh my gosh…phew, I think I was just hallucinating. Ok, let me start over again. I’m Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop. “And I’m Jeffrey.” “And me be Jimbo.” “And I’m the Vegetable King.” “And I’m Sandra Dorkenporken, reporting live.” “And I’m Percy.” “And I’m Tiddly Winkles. Uaaoh!” “And I’m Steve.” “And I’m Mr. Tange.” “And I’m Hillbilly Joe.” Hillbilly Joe…who’s that? “You know, from Studio B. I got that show ‘Hillbilly Joe and his Potbelly Pig’.” Oh yeah. Well alright guys, this marks the end of The End of Bananas: Season 1. But don’t worry; there will be plenty of Jeffrey and Jimbo in the future. This is Snap Daddy Sizzle Pop, seeya next time!

The End

The End of Bananas

Thursday, May 30, 2013